We Don't Fight Fair
by Red Darling
Summary: Roxas feels guilty beyond belief, and no one cares. He's falling apart and there's only one person who can save him; Axel.
1. Save Me

**Author Notes: **Here you will find the first instalment of 'We Don't Fight Fair'. I hope you guys enjoy it. Red worked very hard and has absolutely fallen in love with this little baby.

**Dedication: **I dedicate this chapter to... My shower! Perverted as it sounds, I came up with this in the shower... I come up with a lot of ideas in the shower...

**Summary: **"Do you know what it's like to be hated? Cos I do." He's been hated and shunned and taken advantage of by everyone. Until Axel arrives.

**Pairings: **Not telling! Yet anyway.. It'll ruin the surprise.

**Suggested Listening : **Protigé Moi - Placebo

"The Take Over, The Break's Over" - FallOutBoy

**Disclaimer: **-Searches through sock drawer- Dammit, can't find my copy of the rights. Squenix/Disney must have stolen them back again. Bugger.

* * *

**Save Me**

By; Red Darling

* * *

_Save me, please, someone save me..._

He could feel their stares on his back, lustful and angry, full of senseless hatred. And not so senseless hatred. The stares made him feel sick to his stomach, but that didn't worry him. He felt so bad so much of the time that it barely registered. Slowly, and carefully so that he didn't stumble or trip over an outstretched foot, he made his way back to his seat, wincing at the sound of his chair leg scrapping against the ground.

_Always the same, always the same._

Knowing that the whispers would start soon, he hung his head, desperately trying to immerse himself in the work in front of him, hoping beyond sensibility that today he'd be able to ignore them. No such luck. Of course not, the only kind of luck he had was the bad kind.

By the time the whispers reached his ears, they were no more than noises, incoherent, but menacing all the same. Then the laughter began, the teacher did nothing to stop it. She never did. Nor did any of his other teachers. In an odd, vacant way, they hated him too. Maybe if he'd ever said something, proved to then that he was a human being, not the monster he was portrayed as, they might like him. But he'd never had the guts. Probably never would.

He tried to stop the shaking of his limbs, clenching his teeth together to stop them chattering. He wanted to freeze the agonisingly fast tick of the clock at the front of the room. Fear trickled through his veins as the hands neared three o'clock. He slammed his eyes shut; _Stop, stop, please stop!_

_BRAAAAAAAAANG._

Sighing in defeat, he grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder, joining the masses leaving the room. He twitched whenever someone brushed against him, flinched if anything touched his bare skin. He had a mild case of aphenphosmphobia, and he knew it. Not his fault though... Well, that's what he told himself at least. He'd never been very good at convincing people.

He glared at the sunlight filtering through the windows along the corridor. How dare it be sunny and warm and pleasant? It should be raining and stormy and dark. It should be freezing cold, cold enough to numb, dark enough to blind. Stupid weather, it was taunting him; it always was. With sunny weather like this, students and teachers alike would be rushing to escape the confines of the school. Breaking free, shirking their responsibilities for a day. By the time he left the buildings, there would be no-one left. Almost.

He rounded a corner and stumbled to a halt. _Shit._ Riku Sase lounged against the wall, his cronies Hayner and Wakka sniggering beside him.

"Why, look who it is." smirked the silveret. The boy in front of him trembled. Riku moved forward.

"See ya Riku." Hayner said, waving. He and Wakka walked off, knowing exactly what was going to happen and seemingly bored of it for once. Maybe it was the heat?

"So..." murmured Riku, placing his hand on the other boy's cheek.

"Get off!"

"Aw, c'mon." Riku drawled, leaning in to claim a one-sided kiss.

"No." the kiss was broken. Riku glared and the other boy winced.

It always started this way, they would force 'affection' on him, and he would resist. But who ever it was that was tormenting him would persevere. Sometimes, the refusals would become too tiresome and within moments, he would be lying on the ground, black, blue and winded. Other times he would give in, allowing kisses to be given and taken, allowing touches to be felt, giving in completely. But weak as he was, he'd never let it go 'all the way'. He had that much strength at least. He would salvage what ever scraps of dignity he had left.

He didn't know which days he hated more. The ones where he had to almost crawl home, shuddering with pain, or the days he sat in his room, trying to be numb, to stop feeling their kisses on his lips, their fingers on his hips?

"No, _Riku!_" panic was rising, wiping away his strength.

The silveret slapped him lightly. "I'm not in the mood for stuffing around today. Behave, you little ass."

"No."

Riku growled, sliding his hand up the other's shirt and scratching. "Be-fucking-have." he forced another kiss.

"Oi!"

Riku's head snapped up, his eyes probably drilling holes into the newcomer. The boy in his arms didn't look up. It was probably just someone angry that Riku had got to him first. He didn't want to see those eyes, eyes looking at him as though he were a thing. And if it was just a normal person, well, he didn't want to be seen like this; utterly helpless, succumbing to a boy not much older than himself and barely fighting.

"Back off asshole." Riku snarled possessively. "He's mine today."

"You back off." the stranger shot back, making the trembling boy even more scared, he was about to be caught in the middle of a fight, and he doubted the winner would be gentle with him. He started to mentally prepare himself for the pain, numbing his mind.

"Don't try and fucking order me around. He's _mine_ today, try your luck tomorrow."

"Back off bitch." Riku's opponent wasn't giving up easily. "He _said_ no."

The 'embracing' couple froze. For the first time, the terrified boy looked up. The stranger had fire engine red hair that seemed to think gravity was a joke. He was dressed in a tight black ensemble, jeans, t-shirt, shoes and bag. There were dark marks under vividly green eyes. Tattoos or make-up? It was hard to tell.

"Yeah, and?" said Riku, regaining his composure.

"And as far as I know, it isn't freaking opposite day. He. Said. No. Back the fuck off."

"Look, do you not get it? I got him first today. First come, first serve. His preference has nothing to do with it."

"I get it, _princess bitch_. And _it_'s called sexual harassment. Now get your prissy little ass out of here or I'll kick it so far you wont be able to fucking walk."

During the exchange, Riku had let go of his prize, who, noticing the lack of restraint, tried to slip away. Riku grabbed his upper arm viciously and yanked him back.

"Don't even think about it." he hissed, slapping the fearful face.

"That's enough you fucking rapist." the red-head spat furiously, storming towards the other two. He punched Riku in the face, making him loosen his hold enough for his attacker to pull the small boy from his grasp. The red-head then kicked Riku in the stomach, sending him to the floor, breathless.

"Kid? C'mon." the red-head grabbed the khaki bag from the ground and held it out to its owner, who took hold of it mechanically.

"Let's get out of here." The red-head cautiously placed his hand on the boy's shoulder, careful not to scare him. "Hows-about we go and get a coffee or something... Maybe an iced chocolate?"

"S-sure."

"This way." The red-head led the way out of the school grounds and 'round the corner. He hesitated by a bright red car. He _could_ drive, it would be quicker. But that kind of thing just screamed ABDUCTION! Especially if you'd just been almost raped... Maybe walking would be better.

So they walked. It only took ten minutes or so before they were out of the mainly residential area and into the part of town that was absolutely filled with coffee shops. They ducked into the first one they came to and the red-head ordered a 'dark chocolate chilli thing'.

"How about you, kid?"

"Um, a coke please."

"And a coke."

"Certainly sirs. Just one moment."

A minute or two later, the brunette waitress handed then their drinks and the red-head handed her a ten dollar note. He took his change and sat down at a table. The 'dark chocolate chilli thing' was sipped at, but the coke was power-drunk. Once it was finished, the 'kid' just sat there staring.

"Kid? You okay?"

The 'kid' just stood there, staring at him incredulously.

"What _was_ that?" What _had_ just happened? Had he been... Saved?

No, surely not. No-one would want to save _him_. And, even if he had been saved, it wouldn't last long. Riku would be back tomorrow, and it would be twice as bad. This guy wouldn't save him again, not after he found out who he was and what he'd done.

"You nearly got raped is what happened. I'm surprised you haven't gone into shock."

"Oh. Um, yeah, I know about what happened with him... But what did you do?"

"Saved you. Duh."

_Saved?_

"Oh, the name's Axel by the way... What's yours?"

_My name? Shit. Once he... Once he finds out... He'll hate me. I like this guy, he seems, nice... Won't be once I tell him... Can't do that._

"Sora." he said, brushing blond hair out of his eyes. "My name's Sora."

"Sora... Hmm... Has that you know, ever happened before?" Axel tilted his head to the side.

Sora just hung his head and nodded. He didn't trust himself to speak. If he spoke, he might tell Axel just how often that had happened. He didn't want to see the disgust in those pretty green eyes when he found out.

"Shit, why didn't you tell someone?"

No answer.

"Okay, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. It must be a bit... Difficult to talk about."

"Thanks."

Axel swallowed the last of his chocolate-chilli thing. "So, Sora? Where do you live?"

"I'll walk."

"Sora..." Axel said warningly. It was obvious that he thought Sora would jump off a bridge or something else. Okay, maybe not that drastic.

"I just want to think is all."

"Okay... You sure."

"Mhmm."

"Alright then. I'll uh, see you later?"

"Yeah... I guess? You go to St. Oath's, right?"

"Yup, just transferred from Oblivion. Thought the school would be all religious and shit, didn't realise it was just a ploy to attract the rich kids."

"Yeah... Failed though. Well... I'll see you tomorrow then. Thanks for the drink... And the saving me thing." Sora blushed and stood up.

"See ya." Axel hesitated as the blond turned away from him. "Sora?"

Sora tensed at hearing the name. "Y-yeah?"

"I'm glad I saved you."

* * *

Axel sighed, he'd put the seat back in his car. and was currently halfway between lying down and sitting up with his hands linked behind his head. He watched the sun setting. Cliché maybe, but clichés are clichés for a reason. Axel always felt relaxed when it was warm and the light was golden like it was now. It comforted him in the same way his lighter did.

"Sora, hmm..." Something just didn't add up. That wasn't the way you'd expect someone to act if some retard spontaneously started molesting you. It wasn't even the way you acted if it had happened a couple of times before. Unless you had absolutely no spirit at all. And Sora had spirit. Cheesy as it may sound, Axel had seen it in his eyes. A broken spirit maybe?

Axel looked back on the way he'd acted towards... Reno? Rudolf? Rupert? Sure he was pissed at what this guy was doing, but maybe he wouldn't have minded as much if he'd been molesting someone a little less beautiful. Maybe. But the kid was cute, no doubt about it. He needed someone to watch over him, help him, find out his secrets. Maybe Axel could be that person?

Yeah... Axel liked that idea.

* * *

**End Notes: **Dun, dun, dun!

I really love reviews, so please, er, review! And cookies to all those who work out what's happening and who's who and all that jazz. I'm seriously wondering if anyone is going to figure it out...


	2. Hate Me

**Author Notes: **Here is the second chapter of 'We Don't Fight Fair', you guys have no idea how much trouble I went through trying to get this up to length. Finally, however, it is long enough.

-start rant-

Um, guys, I freaking work my rear off typing this for you! I am neglecting other, _reviewing _readers so as you lot can be a-reading this. So, FREAKING REVIEW! I'm sorry, but it is fully not cool for me to have like, eleven faves/alerts and three freaking reviews! Review dammit! I don't care if you're not the type to review, if you read this, then you are. Not reviewing when you fave/alert is just showing what a lazy bugger you are.

-end rant-

**Dedication: **Rapu-kun for being very teh awesome-ness this weekend.

**Summary: **"Do you know what it feels like to be hated? Cos I do." He's been hated and shunned and taken advantage of by everyone. Until Axel arrives.

**Pairings: **Teh obviousness lovelies.

**Suggested Listening : **Once In Every Lifetime - Jem

Here In Your Arms - HelloGoodbye

**Disclaimer: **If you thought I owned this, you need a brain transplant, seriously.

* * *

**Hate Me**

By; Red Darling

* * *

_I'm losing you, losing you to the ones who hate me..._

As Sora walked into school the next day, he felt just as nervous, just as scared, just as worried as he had the day before. In fact, he probably felt more so now. All it would take for his temporary safety to come crashing down was for Axel to say a word. _One word_. Once he said that tiny, two-sylabal word, it would all be over. Axel would join the ranks of those who hated him. The worst thing was that it would be even harder seeing the vicious hate coming from Axel's eyes now, after he'd seen such kindness shining through them.

Yesterday had been a double edged sword.

_Oh gods._

At the thought, Sora turned to the nearest bush and lost his breakfast. Not that he'd had much. Most of it was probably last night's dinner. He wiped his mouth and continued walking. It was a conscious battle to keep going, all Sora really wanted to do was curl up somewhere and never come out. Unfortunately, that would kind of result in him dying, and for all the crap going on in his life, Sora had never once felt suicidal.

When the school came into view, he actually stopped. Someone walked past and shoved him, almost making him fall. Sora caught himself and gave a generous sigh, hesitating wouldn't make things any easier, nor would it postpone Axel finding out. In fact, hesitating would do nothing but get him knocked about by the people passing.

With a heavy heart and absolutely no hope for the future, Sora walked through the gates.

* * *

When lunch time rolled around, Sora slipped outside quietly, searching the area for any sign of Axel. He wasn't there, thank gods.

"Hey."

"Eeeyap!"

On the other hand, he could have been standing, oh, three feet away.

Not looking up, not risking a glimpse of those eyes, Sora ducked down a corridor and started running, he ran and ran and refused to stop. He needed to get away, get far away. He didn't want to be near Axel. Gods, he didn't want to see the two-sided betrayal. He needed to go somewhere, anywhere safe. He only had one hiding place, the concrete slope under the library, almost blocked off by the fences that announced the school's boundary.

Unfortunately, one of his tormentors was waiting there for him. At least it wasn't Riku. Sora cringed, but he couldn't turn around. He'd rather be used and hurt by this person than see Axel.

* * *

Apart from the lunch time incident, Sora didn't see Axel, and in most ways, he was glad. In other, stupider ways, he wished he'd caught a glimpse of those green eyes, hate-filled or not, which was idiotic, considering what he'd been through getting away. It was only as Sora left his last class that he really remembered the worst thing about today; Riku. He would not be happy, not happy at all. Sora was so in for it that wasn't funny. He hid in the classroom for as long as he could, then started to creep out of the school, he was almost there, almost free. But then he turned a corner.

"_Shit_."

Riku was standing there, glaring.

"You are in so much fucking trouble." As he said it, Riku moved forward. His stride was deliberate and terrifying. He kept walking forward, even when Sora was right in front of him, making the shorter boy move back. Riku was so close, so scarily close, and then he stepped back a little, looking down the path Sora had travelled walked through.

Sora followed his tormentor's gaze.

_Axel._

Riku backed up a little, he didn't seem to want to be seen by Axel.

"I'll get you." he hissed. "Not now, but I'll get you. It is not going to be fun, believe me. Not fun at all." with that, Riku turned and walked away, leaving Sora breathless with fear. He stood there for a moment, frozen on the spot, taking nothing in.

"Sora? Hello, Sora?"

Sora looked up, Axel was smiling at him. But, that wasn't right. Axel was supposed to hate him. Why was he not glaring?

He must not have said it, he must have kept quiet.

"Sora, you egg. Why did you run away at lunch? And what happened to your lip? Sora?"

_Sora, Sora, Sora._

The words echoed through his head. He hadn't said his name, up until now it seemed. But he'd just said it.

And in front of Riku.

Shakily, Sora looked up at Riku, who was frozen. While he watched, Riku turned around and glared with all the force he had.

"Sora." Riku began walking towards them, he no longer seemed to care that Axel was there. "_Sora._" He was close now, close enough to through a punch if he wanted to.

"I can't believe you would have the audacity to even think that name, let alone use it."

_Smack._

Sora's head spun from the impact, but he was with it enough to push Axel back and whisper 'no', the red-head looked fit to knock Riku out.

"I'm sorry Riku."

_Thump._

"Do I care? No. No I don't you little bastard. Your 'apology' means nothing to me. Don't even think about daring to say that name again, you hear me?" Riku looked down at 'Sora', who was currently curled up on the ground, whimpering slightly from the strength of the punch that had hit him, then at Axel. He decided it might be time to leave.

* * *

As Riku left, Axel took a step forward, he really should deck that little bugger.

"Axel?"

Axel glanced down and shook his head. How could he have been thinking about Riku when his friend was like this? He dropped to his knees and put a hand on the blond's shoulder.

"Sora? Are you okay?"

Riku spun around and snapped at him. "His name's not Sora. He's not worthy of that name."

"Then what is his name?"

"Roxas. The bastard's name is Roxas."

"Sure. Whatever."

Axel looked back down at Roxas when Riku turned another corner and left his sight.

"What the hell was that about?"

"Long story." Roxas groaned.

"We have time."

"Painful story?" he tried.

"I have painkillers."

Roxas sighed and sat up, wishing he didn't have to tell Axel this.

"Riku loved my twin brother, Sora."

Axel's eyes widened in disbelief.

"He loved your brother, yet he does this to you?"

"Yeah." Roxas rubbed his forehead wearily.

"Gods, that guy is one sick bitch."

The blond didn't respond.

"Wait," when he remembered the split lip and awkwardness with which Roxas had been holding his wrist, something clicked in Axel's mind. "How often has this happened?"

"With Riku?" Roxas felt vile, sick just saying it. "Too often. With people in general? Most days, sometimes more."

"No." Axel muttered, shaking his head. "No, that's not _right_. Why didn't you do something?"

"Because." slowly, so he didn't fall over, Roxas stood up.

"Because what?" Axel gazed up desperately. "Wait, where are you going?"

"I'm going after Riku."

"If you want to deal with him, I'll go."

"No, you're staying here."

"What? Are you crazy? He'll beat you to a pulp and molest you again!"

"That's why I'm going."

Axel blinked. "Can we rewind and replay that last scene? I thought you just said you were going because of what he'll do to you when you do."

Roxas raised an eyebrow at Axel's speech, then sighed. "I deserve it."

"Excuse me So- Roxas, but you do _not_ deserve to be hurt like that!"

Roxas turned away so that he didn't have to see Axel's face.

"I do deserve it. I killed my brother Axel, I killed the boy he loved."

* * *

Axel watched Roxas walk away. He remained on the ground as Roxas turned the corner. He heard the first yelp of pain, then he blocked it all out. It was too much to take in. He knew, just _knew_ that he should be jumping to his feet and running to Roxas' aid, but he couldn't bring himself to move.

Roxas' words had hit him like a ton of bricks. Spiky bricks with anger management problems. How could he deal with that kind of confession? How could he ignore it? How could he not? How could he sit here and do nothing while Riku...

Cos' the worst thing about all this wasn't that Roxas was apparently a murderer. It wasn't that Roxas was getting hurt. It wasn't that Roxas _had_ been hurt. It was the fact that when Axel finally forced himself to go and help, he would have to look into those brilliantly blue eyes and know that he could have saved him. It was the unbelievably huge amount of guilt, sure to fill him that was the worst part.

He had no idea how long he sat there numbly, but once Riku appeared in the distance, glaring once then leaving, it all fell away. Axel stood up stiffly, his steps hesitant as he walked towards the corner that hid Roxas. The term 'passive bullying' kept going through his head; the people who stood back and watched as someone was bullied were just as bad as the bullies themselves. Did that make him as bad as Riku?

Gods, he hoped not.

It took a huge amount of effort to actually turn the corner, Axel was so afraid of what he'd find that he almost didn't, but; Roxas. Was. Hurt. He needed to help, he _needed_ to stop being so selfish.

"Roxas? Oh gods."

Roxas was curled up into a tiny ball. He didn't look _too_ hurt, but he just looked so broken. His shirt was ripped, and there was blond hair on the ground. Axel gently touched Roxas' shoulder, and was rewarded with a shudder.

"Rox, it's me, Axel."

It was a few moments before Roxas looked up. He snuffled.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"For everything." the blond sobbed a little and tried to shuffle away.

"Rox, calm down, I'm not going to hurt you."

"But you hate me."

"No I don't." Axel had to fight to keep his voice even. "Why would you think that?"

"Everyone hates me."

"I don't."

"You should."

"I don't." Axel repeated.

"Why not?"

"Why should I?"

"I'm... I'm a," _hic_ " murderer." _sniff_ "I'm a pathetic waste of space." _sob_.

"No, you're not. I have no idea what's actually happened, but..." Axel hesitated for a moment then dove in head-first. "I've decided I don't care."

"How can you just 'not care'? I'm a murderer!"

"Well, if you were dangerous you wouldn't be here now would you? You would be in jail. So I'm not scared of you. And then there's the fact that you're still the same person you were yesterday." _Oh, and then there's the fact that you're too bloody cute for your own good. But you know, that totally didn't affect my decision at all._

"So, you don't care what I've done, you're willing to befriend someone you've only just met even though they've done awful things?"

"Yup."

"That's just retarded."

"Do you want me to hate you?"

"No, it's just I-"

"Well," Axel cut in "I'd rather like someone and find out I've made a mistake, then hate them, cause damage and find out that they've done nothing wrong."

Roxas shook his head, this guy was nuts.

"C'mon, let's take you home."

There was a thoughtful silence for a moment, then;

"'Kay."

With a half smile, half shudder, Roxas allowed the red-head to scoop him up. He didn't see the grin that resulted from hiding his face in the taller boy's shoulder.

* * *

**End Notes: **Big Taanku-ness to those who did review, and a please review to those who didn't.


	3. Trust You

**Author Notes: **I love this chapter! I know it was a long time coming, but I've not been able to write well for a while, please forgive and take this (hopefully) wonderful chap as a peace offering.

This chap started off boring and longish. but then I cut it in half (the other half's for next chap), partially re-wrote it and voila! I'm not sure why, but this chapter has buried itself deep in my heart, I hope you guys feel the same way.

**Dedication:** To all my lovely reviewers, every little word you write shoves my happiness up a notch. It's the best thing I've ever found for curing a case of the 'It's-all-pointless's. Love you darlings!

**Summary: **Roxas feels guilty beyond belief, and no one cares. He's falling apart and there's only one person who can save him; Axel.

**Pairings:** Semi-AkuRoku (getting there loves), one sided SoRiku, one sided RikuRoku.

**Suggested Listening:** If Everyone Cared - Nickelback

Hero - Superchick

Here In Your Arms - HelloGoodbye

**Warnings:** Roxas has one hell of a potty mouth in this chapter. Beware. 'Fuck' and many variations of it used liberally.

* * *

**Trust You**

_By; Red Darling_

* * *

_I don't know why, maybe it's how true you seem to be, maybe it's how far you stay, but whatever it is, it makes me trust you... I don't know why I do, but I like it, I like trusting you._

* * *

Axel drove in almost silence, only speaking to ask for directions. When he parked in front of the house that Roxas pointed out, he hesitated, glancing over at his blond passenger. Despite what he'd said, confessed almost, Roxas was still silent, scared and twitchy. It pained Axel to think of what had happened to make him that way, to make him think he deserved to be hated. The sheer mind fuckery (1) that must have been used to cause this... Axel had to close his eyes to stop the spinning at the thought of it.

Finally dragging away from his thoughts, the red head unfolded himself from his seat and opened Roxas' door. He knew that if he offered the option of walking, the blond would take it regardless of whether or not he was capable... So Axel didn't give him the choice, he just pulled the smaller boy from his seat and into his arms. Roxas didn't protest, just hid his face.

It was rather awkward trying to open the door, but Axel managed it, he stepped through just in time to see a chestnut haired woman walk past, completely ignoring the boy who must have been her son.

Brow furrowing in confusion, Axel walked down the hall into the kitchen. There was a blond man standing there, reading the paper.

"Um, hi... I'm guessing you're Roxas' dad..."

No reaction, a moment later, the man folded up the newspaper and left the room, not even looking at his injured child.

"Hey! What the he-"

"Just leave it Axel," for the first time since giving directions, Roxas spoke.

"Roxas, that's your dad, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then why the hell did he just completely ignore you, you're hurt!"

"To them, I don't even exist." the blond's tone was soft, measured, but still pained.

"Wha- Okay, whatever, just tell me where the icepacks are, you can explain later."

"Freezer, bottom drawer." Roxas muttered. Axel set him down beside the breakfast bar, making sure he was steady before moving to retrieve the icepacks.

"Where's your room?"

"I'll show you... Don't fuss, I can walk."

Axel followed him carefully anyway, up the stairs and down the hall to a room that was tidy and relatively clean.

"Whoa."

"Mmm, I don't have much stuff, therefore not much mess."

"'Kay, sit down."

Roxas perched on the edge of his bed and winced as Axel applied the ice; one to his face, one to his wrist, one to his head and one to the massive bruise he found on his abdomen. It took a lot of self restraint to stop himself brushing hair from the slightly bruised forehead and kissing it better.

"You kind of owe me an explanation..."

"Yeah, guess I do."

"I can wait though, if it's painful..."

The mental battle was clear on the blond's face. "I.. Uh, well- No, it's okay... I'll tell you. You deserve it," he cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably, breaking eye contact.

"When we were little kids, everybody loved Sora, he was happy and sweet and thoughtful and caring and open and, well, the list goes on. He was the cute one, the one everybody cooed over and paid attention to. They kind of ignored me a little bit, but I didn't really mind. Sora loved me, always. There was never a time he wasn't making sure I was just as included as he was." Roxas' good hand clenched the fabric of his jeans, an his voice became a little watery.

"So, yeah, we grew up a little and Sora made friends real easy, he was outgoing and had heaps of energy. And as soon as he made a friend he'd introduce them to me. Funny really, me and Riku used to be really good friends."

Axel's mouth dropped open. "You, were... What!"

"Yeah, weird huh?" Roxas smiled sadly "But he loved Sora, I mean really _loved_ him. It's kind of odd when I think back on it now, there was this group of us, so happy and close, they were good times, even for me. But then it all just kinda... Died."

"What... happened?"

"We decided to go swimming one day, by the beach. We got bored with normal swimming and climbed up to this cliff, heaps of people jump off there, all the time, we thought we'd be safe. We jumped off together, ran straight to the edge, full out sprinting."

"Did he... Drown...?"

"Not... Not straight away. We came to the surface and started fighting over the rocks that we had to climb over to get out, jokingly and that. I got up first and kicked him off. We were always doing stuff like that! I didn't mean to hurt him!" Roxas started to breathe a little too fast.

"I know you didn't, calm down."

"So-sorry. Yeah, um, when I kicked him back he hit his head, but I was too excited about beating him to the top that I didn't notice, it was only when I turned around _at_ the top that I saw he was all limp and bleeding. We got him to the hospital and everyone was there and I was too scared to lie about it, or even say it was an accident and they hate me now cos Sora only lasted a handful of hours, and he did wake up once, but that was just before we lost him and Riku didn't get a chance to... Tell him. About how he felt.

"Sora died, he died scared and in pain on a fricken hospital bed with so many tubes coming out of him that he couldn't effing _move_. Sora was _always_ moving. _Always._ He couldn't speak, he couldn't laugh, he couldn't be _Sora_. And then he died. He died and it was my fault, all my freaking fault!"

"I..." Axel wasn't quite sure what to say "Still don't get it."

Roxas finally looked up, his eyes desperate and wet and angry "I killed my own fucking brother! My parents won't acknowledge my existence, my best friends hate me. And the guy I had a crush on leaves me with bruises almost every freaking _day_!"

"You... liked _Riku_?" Axel was understandably stunned.

"Khht, yeah," Roxas was bitter now, his emotions visibly spiralling out of control "That's how this whole thing started. Somehow, he found out... Sure, I get him holding me and touching me and kissing me _now_. Now that all it brings me is pain. Pain and bruises and blood!" his breathing was ragged. "I hate the colour red, _I fucking hate it_!"

Axel winced. "Roxas, chill, please, just calm down."

"Fuck off! All you're gonna do is hurt me, that's all everyone ever does! I'm worthless, fucking worthless! Just fuck off!"

"Roxas! Roxas! Stop it! You're getting hysterical!"

"I'm _not_ getting fucking _hysteri-_"

He was cut off by Axel swinging around and slamming him backwards, pinning him to the bed. Roxas stared up with horrified eyes at the face that was much too close.

"I could do _whatever_ I wanted to you right now Roxas, your parents wouldn't save you, I'm much stronger and _no one_ would care. I'm free to do _whatever_ I want." Axel whispered, voice harsh.

"No, no Axel! Please don-"

But Axel was gone, no longer holding him down, just sitting there next to him. He'd let go the second Roxas had said 'no'.

"I _could_ do whatever I wanted. But I _won't_. I'm not like them Roxas, I'm _not_ going to hurt you. _Ever._"

Roxas sat up slowly, calmer now. His head clear. He reached out, obviously scared, and placed a hand on Axel's shoulder. "Sorry." he whispered.

"It's okay, just, trust me. Please?"

Roxas nodded and leaned into the taller teen timidly. Axel pulled the blond closer, till he was curled up on his lap. A shiver ran down Roxas' spine, and Axel wasn't sure whether it was from pain or memories. Possibly both.

"I'm sorry too Rox," he murmured.

"Don't be..." Roxas' voice was soft and sleepy "There's nothing to be sorry for..."

A few minutes later, his breathing was soft and steady, deeper than it had been before. Axel smiled at little and shifted his position, leaning back against the pillows with Roxas asleep on top of him. He was so sweet, so adorable. A fallen angel, if you may. Gees, he even had the blond hair and blue eyes for it. Careful not to disturb the him, Axel pulled his phone out and pressed 1 on the speed dial

_Ring... Ring, ring... Ring... Ring, ri-_

"Ye?"

"Hey, Lark?"

"Whaaat?"

"I'm gonna be late home tonight, can you sort the girls out for tea?"

"Suuure."

"Thanks Lark... Oh, and, can you remember the name of that kid Nami and Kai used to know? The one that died?"

"Um... Hold up, I'll ask," there was a distorted mumbling sound as Larxene called out to ask the question, followed by a crackle as she put the phone back to her ear. "His name was Sora."

"Sweet, ground them for me will you?"

"Sure,"

Axel could _hear_ her planning something horrible.

"Any particular reason?" _Heheh_, she was using the sweet voice... Not good, not good at all. For Kairi and Naminé at least.

"Is making someone's life absolutely miserable and making said person hate themselves a good enough reason?"

"Sure is hun, I might just have to work on my scheme."

"Good idea Lark. Love ya."

"Ye, love you too. See ya when you get home."

"See ya."

Axel slipped the phone back into his pocket. Boy, were those girls in trouble.

* * *

_"Roxas?"_

_"So! So!" Roxas ran to his brother, throwing his arms around the brunet. "I'm so sorry So! I'm so sorry." he whimpered into his twin's shoulder._

_"Don't be Roxas, I don't blame you."_

_"You don't?" _

_"No."_

_Roxas snuffled again and pulled away. "Thank you So..."_

_"It's fine, just live Rox, live and __**love**__."_

_"Love..."_

_"Yeah, love him Roxas, you deserve it."_

_"But I loved you and look at what happened!"_

_"Don't be scared, trust him, trust yourself. It wasn't all your fault anyway."_

_"Oh... Okay. I trust you Sora."_

_"Don't trust me, trust __**him**__." Sora was fading away, still in Roxas' arms, just getting more and more insubstantial._

_"Don't go!"_

_"I'm sorry Roxas, come visit me, please?"_

_"I will Sora, I will!" No matter how illogical it was, Roxas tightened his hold, desperately trying to keep his brother there._

_"Love you Roxas..."_

_"Love you too..."_

The sky was completely black when Roxas woke up.

"Morning sunshine," Axel grinned, but gently.

"S'not morning."

"I know."

"Oh... did I fall asleep?"

"Yep."

"Oops." Roxas blushed.

"Don't worry about it," Axel almost stroked at the blond hair, but stopped himself at the last second; Roxas didn't need someone acting that way towards him, not yet he was probably still scared from earlier.

"You, uh, didn't have to stay," another blush.

"Again, don't worry about it, although I should really be leaving now."

"Oh!" Roxas jumped up and toppled straight over. _Thump._

"Rox, you complete numbskull." Axel said, helping him off the floor.

"Heh. My bad. I'll be okay tomorrow, I always seem to get dizzy after they get me," he even threw in a tentative smile.

But his attempts at lightening the mood failed, Axel only frowned deeper, the fact that this had happened regularly enough for Roxas to know exactly what would happen... _Shiver_.

"Uh, c'mon, you'll walk your saviour to the door, won't you?"

"Sure! Sure!" Roxas jumped up again, grabbing Axel so he wouldn't fall, and half dragging him to the door.

"Gees, eager to get rid of me, aren't you?"

"Oh, sorry."

"Roxas," Axel put a hand on the blond's shoulder, making him turn around and look up. "Stop apologising for everything. It's not your fault, never was, never will be."

"Um, if you say so."

_Trust __**him**_.

They were at the door now, Axel opening it and slipping through, leaving Roxas in the relative warmth of his house.

"Then I do. Night Roxas." Without thinking, without _letting_ himself think, Axel pressed a short, soft kiss to the top of Roxas' blond hair. Then he turned and walked away, not failing to notice the fingers that brushed against his own. It was completely the wrong thing to do, in every way. But sometimes it take a handful of wrongs to make things right, twisted as it may seem.

All the same... "_I'm sorry Roxas,_" he whispered, not knowing whether the blond heard.

* * *

**(1):** A saying that was brought to my attention by **Dualism**. Dunno if she coined it or what, but its where I found it.

**End Notes:** Not much to say other than please review and tell me what you think, about the story, about the way I write, about my notes, whatever. And that I have no beta, Sowwie. If any of you want to be my beta -crickets chirping- just tell me. I shall love you forever. And I think people who actually know how to use grammar will too XD

Love, Red


	4. Watch Me

**Author Notes: **Here be chapter four... Wow, this fic is going to be so much longer than I expected. When I first started writing, I estimated five chapters. Now though... Five chapters'll barely take us through to the first plot twist.

I'm hoping you guys'll be glad that this is longer... Right?

**Dedication: **To Raph-Sensei, for being able to read this... You know what I mean.

**Summary: **Roxas feels guilty beyond belief, and no one cares. He's falling apart and there's only one person who can save him; Axel.

**Pairings: **Semi-AkuRoku, yes guys I know, that's what I keep telling the story: "Kiss and get married, kay?" but it's insisting on taking it's own sweet time.

**Suggested Listening : **Protegé Moi - Placebo

This Is Who We Are - Hawthorn Heights

Read My Mind - The Killers

Yeah, I know that some of these songs are going to end up doubling up in different chapters, but that's cos some themes repeat. Near the end, I'll probably write up an 'Album' of songs that have found themselves in this category. Might even put why.

**Disclaimer: **Only the plot line, angst (nearly wrote 'plot, angst line XD), and sheer 'awesome-ness' -crickets chirping- belong to me. Nutin else.

**Warning: **I couldn't be stuffed beta'ing this properly, it's had a half-arsed read through... That's about it. Sorry.

* * *

**Watch Me**

By; Red Darling

* * *

_You were watching over me the whole time, huh? I should've guessed. But really, some guardian angel..._

* * *

The next morning when Roxas walked into school, he had Axel's arm over his shoulder. At first people just looked away, thinking that Axel was one of _them_. Then they saw they way Roxas leaned into the taller teen's shoulder, his face calm and clear, and gaped. _Roxas Mizuki_ had a _boyfriend_? And he was happy about it! No one really knew how to take it, they hadn't seen Roxas happy since, well, Sora.

But nobody liked thinking about that now, did they?

Maybe they would have teased him, hurt him... But Axel was tall and for all he wrapped his arm around the blond so _carefully_, the glares he sent anyone who looked at Roxas 'wrong' were nothing less than deadly. Plus, you didn't exactly need three guesses to work out where Riku got his bruises.

So, for the most part, they left the two alone. Axel had made some friends on the first day that carefully hung out with him on the rare occasion that Roxas _wasn't_ around, and Yuffie, and relatively new student who'd had transferred before Axel, but after the Sora thing, a really quite sweet and open-minded girl, became their first ally.

She would sit with them at lunch, talking away so fast and happy that Axel could barely keep up. Her chatter leaving Roxas free to gaze around the caf and think about everything, feeling safe and removed from it all, as though Axel's arm was a brick wall.

The first few days, he'd really needed that feeling, as almost everyone stared. Confused and annoyed for the most part, truly angry or even reviewing their decision as to what side to stick to in a few cases. But after that, it all cooled down, curiosity was given up, annoyance moved to parents and homework, tempers cooled and sides remained.

So, while the whole school seemed to hold its breath, they also forgot about it. What would happen would happen and no one was willing to risk Axel's fury.

Well, almost no one.

Amidst all the tense calm, one person grew angrier by the day. Every soft, gentle touched Roxas received forcing his cold, calculating anger up a notch. Logic aided the vicious fury until it was scarily informed and lethal.

* * *

Axel walked into the caf, he had his arm around Roxas' waist, the blond leaned into him. He accepted the touch without shuddering, and Yuffie, a classmate of Axel walked with them, talking and laughing, making Roxas smile every so often.

_What!?_

Roxas had been scared, falling apart yesterday. Broken and bloody. He still carried bruises, but that broken look was gone from his eyes. There was a tiny bit of spice in the look he threw over his shoulder. Had that always been there? No, of course not, but...

_When had that happened?_

Axel placed a soft, careful, quick kiss to Roxas forehead. Then he pulled away, loosening his hold a little. Roxas' eyes began to widen, then they froze. A small smile appeared on his lips, and he laid his head on Axel's shoulder, contentment flashing across his features. Axel looked as thought he wanted to do more, kiss him again or hold him tighter, but he didn't. He was slow, true, but he was _slowly_ stealing the blond's heart, leaving his own in its place.

_Why does __**he**__ get to do that?! Why does Roxas get all that love, those soft touches, when Sora's dead and alone?_

Axel really seemed to care for Roxas, and in return, Roxas almost idolised Axel. The blond clung to him, well he would, Axel was his saviour... Axel had saved him from stormy seas. _Grr_, yeah, sure. The kid didn't have to pay for what he'd done. He didn't have to feel what he'd done, here was someone else, numbing away the pain.

_How is that fair? How can a murderer like __**him**__ be allowed to get away with that, to feel what his twin never can? How. Is. That. Fair!_

The blond needed to feel what he'd done, feel remorse for it, the little shit. He needed to see what he'd done to people, show him the truth he kept running from. You do something, bad, you've got to face up to it. You can't keep hiding behind people. Strong people...

_I have one shot, so it needs to be able to convey __**all**__ of the pain in one go. Where I wonder, where will it hit hardest?_

For a moment, clouds in the sky cleared, sending a bright ray of sunshine into the room, it hit Roxas' eyes, making them glow... They looked like Sora's eyes, so clear and alive and- Wait, go back; Sora.

_Sora._

* * *

One person stood up and left the room, plan in place.

Gods, revenge was going to feel so good.

* * *

"Hey, um, Axel?"

"Mmm?" Axel raised his eyebrows and looked down at the blond tucked under his arm. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," _blush_ "I was just, er, wondering... Um..."

The red head stopped walking and sat down on a bench, "Can I...?"

Roxas nodded and let Axel pull him down onto his lap. The red head was always so careful with him, in a way that no one else was. Cos although he was slowly getting over it, there were time when even Axel's touch, when even Axel _looking at him_ could send him over the edge into hysterics. And yet, the tall teen never gave up, never gave in, even when, back in the privacy of Roxas' bedroom, the blond slapped him and screamed for him to leave, get out, go away and never come back. And gods, even though it must hurt like hell, he sat there calmly through the 'I hate you's.

"What were you going to say? Hmm?" Axel tilted his head cutely.

_I promised my dead brother that I'd go visit him... Yeah, he's totally __**not**__ going to take that as me trying to kill myself._

"I... I want to go visit Sora's grave."

"You sure?"

"Yeah," he'd been sure since that dream, in fact, the only reason he hadn't gone already was that he wanted to go alone, and until now, Axel had been a bit too over-protective to let him go anywhere without an escort.

"Okay then, when do you want t-"

"I want to go alone."

Axel frowned at this.

"It's okay, you can drop me off there, pick me up and hang out with Yuffie in between, she's been _dying _to take her new gay friend shopping." Roxas chuckled, trying to wipe the look of concern off Axel's face.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"Positive. I really need to do this Axel... I need to know he forgives me."

The red head couldn't quite see how talking to a gravestone would help, but if Roxas' thought it would... "All right, this Saturday good?"

"Yeah, this Saturday's great," Roxas sighed and laid his head on Axel's shoulder, nudging the red head to make him run his fingers through the blond spikes.

Axel closed his eyes as his hands brushed through Roxas' hair, and with Roxas himself closing his eyes almost blissfully, neither of them noticed the other teen hiding in the shadows grin to himself and leave.

* * *

Friday night, Roxas threw a fit.

All Axel did was ask him his favourite colour and something inside the blond snapped. Maybe the question had something to do with Sora, and being so close to the visit, it was just too much. But whatever it was, it had Roxas screaming his head off and kicking at Axel as though his life depended upon the red head losing his shins.

After a few minutes of anger, Roxas calmed down, but he went too far, like a pendulum swinging madly back in the other direction.

He huddled in the corner of his room, crying. Hissing whenever Axel came near. So the red head sat in the other corner, hands held open in front of him, showing that he was safe, no weapons.

Eventually, minute by minute, shuffle by shuffle, Axel got close enough to hold out one hand, as though asking for a high five. Roxas shakily placed his palm against the much larger one.

"That's it, good boy..." Axel whispered, as though he were talking to a small child. Normally, Roxas would've kicked him for being condescending. As it was, it comforted him.

Another half hour ticked by, and Axel was finally able to pick up the tired and terrified Roxas and place him on the bed, pulling off his shoes, socks, jacket and - with his eyes closed and head turned away - jeans. Then he tucked the t-shirt and boxer'd boy under his covers, linked pinky fingers with him instead of giving a good night kiss, and left, leaving a light on.

Axel took one last glimpse into the room before he left for good, and Roxas' eyes were slowly regaining their clarity.

'Thank you' was written in them, plain as day.

* * *

Next morning, Axel pulled up outside the house, getting out his car and walking inside without even knocking. The 'parents' probably wouldn't even look at him twice if he started nicking off with their telly, Axel was connected to Roxas, and Roxas didn't exist, so Axel didn't either.

"Yo! Rox, you ready?"

"Mmmhmm, yu-eep!"

The red head sighed as he pushed open Roxas bedroom door to see the blond struggling with his coat. Axel reached out, grabbed what he assumed to be the hood and pulled, revealing a very flustered Roxas. After turning the coat the right way out, Axel handed it back and carefully over saw the putting on.

Roxas was back to normal, and though he was slightly redder than normal, everything seemed fine.

When he'd finally won the battle with his goddamned jacket, they left for the cemetery.

"Which way?"

"Um, a left down Secret, then take Agnes out of town... I think."

"You think?"

"Yeah, I've never actually been there before." Roxas blushed.

"Um, okay..."

"It's not my fault! Mom locked me in my room before the funeral and wouldn't let me out... Come to think of it, I think I spent three days in there... Never been good at picking locks..." The blond let his rambling come to an end when he saw the look on Axel's face. His knuckles were white too. Not exactly a good sign.

It was a few minutes before Axel calmed down again. Bad things from Roxas' past always made him tense up and made him fight to keep a hold of his temper. But then again, what do you expect, he pretty much lo- _No, not going there. Not yet. Roxas needs support dammit. He doesn't need a lying bastard like me coming onto him. It is so not going help._

"Ax... Are you okay?" Roxas cut off his musings. Good thing really, he'd never been good and driving and musing at the same time.

"Yeah... Just thinking."

"Oh, okay then."

The both spent the rest of the drive staring straight ahead.

"Okay Rox, what time do you want me to pick you up?" Axel asked when they pulled up just outside the cemetery.

"Two?"

"Roxas! It's ten o'clock." the red head was understandably flabbergasted. Who the hell spends four hours hanging around dead people.

"Yeah, I imagine Yuffie will be shopping for quite some time."

"That's not the point, the point is that you'll be spending four hours here!"

"It's okay. I have a lot of things to think about."

Axel chewed on his lip for a bit. "All right, two it is. You've got a watch right?"

Roxas shook his head.

"Okay, here, borrow mine. I'll use my phone."

The silver watch was huge on the blond's wrist, but it would do.

"Meet me back here at two. Your brother sounds cool, but I kinda have this fear of dead people."

This earned him a chuckle.

"They're nice once you get to know them."

"... I'm not even gonna ask."

Roxas got out of the car. "Bye."

"I'll see you at two."

"Oh, um Ax?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for last night."

"Welcome."

Axel then wound up the window and drove away

* * *

Later, Axel would look back at that moment and realise that it was his first big mistake.

* * *

**End Notes:** ROFLMAO! Last chapter, this chapter and next chapter were originally one shorter, crappier chap. Then I split it into two, this chap and last chap, then I split this chap into two XD

Don't worry, I don't think I can cut next chap up... It's so small...

Heh, who knows?

I would love it for you to review guys! Comments on whether or not the chaps are too short, if you think my writing's improving or not, little bit of the story that just stick with you, things I wrote well and things that need to go die in a hole. I love hearing about it lovelies. Even a random question about me is cool and funny to talk about. I don't bite, really!Pwease?


	5. Catch Me

**Author Notes: **I apologise for the horrific lateness of this. Blegh, could be worse. As in, _Two months, ten days_ worse...

Booyah for splitting what was once going to be one chapter into **four**. Yes, _four_.

I'm really quite happy with this story at the mo'. I had a small idea of what was going to happen when I started writing, then a coupla chapters ago, I had an idea for the rest of the story. Then a few days ago, the plot cleared up a bit in my mind and I added a bit more, still not quite sure what's going to happen in the end. But that's okay... Right?

**Disclaimer:** Sigh. I own jack-shit.

* * *

**Catch Me**

By; Red Darling

* * *

_You were going to catch me, I knew it. I could __**feel**__ it._

* * *

Roxas carefully picked his way across the ever so slightly damp grass. It wasn't till Axel's car had disappeared from view that he'd realised that he didn't, in fact, know where Sora's grave actually _was_. As far as he could see there wasn't any real order to the place. It would just have to be a manual search then. Good thing he had so much time.

His hands shook a little as the blond fingered the over large watch on his wrist. He knew it well, it being Axel's and all, and he had spent more than enough time fiddling with it, twisting it around, exposing it to the light and tracing its shape; a habit that amused Axel no end. He found it funny that one person could be so utterly taken by such a simple object that he could study it every single day. Even so, it felt foreign, different, _cold_ on him. It didn't feel like the same watch.

Time seemed to disappear completely as he walked up and down the rows of gravestones, ignoring the older, mossy ones, the ones that crumbled or were unreadable and focused on the newer looking ones. He was far from his start point when he finally found it, spotting the name and dropping to his knees by what he'd assume to be his brothers head, were it not for the fact that his brother had been cremated - he wasn't even sure why there was an actual _grave_ - before reading the inscription properly. What he saw made hot wet streaks dribble down his cheeks.

_Sora Sky Mizuki__  
A darling son and friend__  
Wrongly taken from where he should have stayed,__  
Fly now baby, and take our love with you,  
Your parents and friends will miss you forever more._

Roxas clutched at the white marble, whimpering. He ran his thumb across the engraving of their joint middle name and wept at the words that followed. They didn't mention he had a _brother_. Didn't mention that said _brother_ loved him too. Didn't mention that there was a _brother_ out there, missing him too.

He wanted to rectify that, to scratch his name into the stone too. But it was too hard, t wouldn't work... But the softer... sandstone was it? At the bottom might work. He scrabbled for a sharp rock, and found one quickly enough. Then with a shaking hand, he began to add his own message. It was messy, and it wasn't poetic, it wasn't even on beautiful white marble that was just so _Sora_. And heck, it probably wasn't even going to last that long, but he needed to place his mark on the stone. He needed to let Sora know he cared:

_I love you too - Roxas Sky_

"'M sorry Sora, I really am. I never meant for that to happen. I'd do almost anything to have you back with me. I'm so sorry," tears dripped from his chin, and he just sat there, the left side of his forehead pressed against the stone. "I love you Sora, I miss you so much."

_Footsteps_

"Please tell me you forgive me, let me know that, that I'm worthy of having my name on that stone."

_Footsteps_

"You don't hate me... I know that much... Do you, do you really still love me... Like you said?"

_Footsteps_

"I want... No, I _need_ to know whether or not what you said was true, or if it was just wishful thinking... Sora, do you really forgive me?"

_"No."_

And Roxas jumped. He twisted around so that his back was against the cool stone, his eyes widened as he looked up, and he tried to meld himself to be one with the marble, to sink in and _disappear_. "R-riku?"

"No shit."

A sneer worked itself across Riku's face, it should have been humorous but to Roxas, it was nothing more than terrifying.

"What are _you_ doing here?"

"I-I..." he shuddered, then took a breath and looked up as defiantly as he could "I'm here to see my _brother_."

"_You_," green-blue eyes hardened "Are here to see _Sora_?"

Roxas nodded.

"_Murderers_ aren't supposed to visit the graves of their victims."

"_I'm not a murderer._"

Riku crouched down and took Roxas' chin in his hand, looking him in the eye "What makes you think that?"

The blond boy's heart stopped. How, how did he answer _that_? "I... I..."

Riku gently tugged his face closer. Raised an eyebrow.

"I... didn't mean to... Sora, I loved-"

His head smashed into the stone painfully, for a second he froze, the shock draining all energy from his muscles. Then he pushed forward, clutching at the - _gods, please tell me it's not sticky_ - hair at the back of his head. He tried to push past Riku, push past his instincts, all of them screaming to just stay still. To stay still and let the silveret take control.

_He won't hurt me as much if I don't res- __**Axel**__. But Riku's here _n- _**Axel**__. I can't help it! Riku's in charge! He's in control! I'm his to fuck with! __**No I'm not! I AM AXEL'S!**_

He tried to smack Riku, but the older boy caught his wrist, spinning him round to look at the headstone.

"What is it with you?" he growled into Roxas' ear, far too close for comfort. "First you hold him back, dragging him down, keeping him from being the best he could be. Then, when you get _bored_ of that game, you kill him. You killed him cos you'll _never_ be anywhere near as wonderful as he was. You couldn't stand to lose. So you _killed_ him."

"No..."

"And yet, you're still not happy, no, you have to taint his monument with _your own fucking blood._"

"I didn't mean to!" Roxas sobbed, this wasn't going _right_! He hadn't meant anyone any harm, but what Riku said was kinda... True... Sora _had_ always been the one running ahead with his friends, then stopping to wait for his twin. And Roxas _had_ been jealous.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry Riku!"

The hand at his chin slipped down to grip his throat. The bleeding blond could only just breathe.

"You're not really sorry. If you were, you'd be apologising to Sora. No, you're not sorry for what you _did_. You're sorry that you have to face the consequences." He then half threw, half shoved Roxas away from him. The grass was just damp enough to aid his movement, the blond slammed into the next gravestone over, his back making an awful cracking sound as it collided.

He wanted to just curl up there and nurse his sore spots. But Riku was still there, and he wasn't finished yet.

"I'm... I'm sorry Sora." Roxas whispered. Riku snorted.

"Sorry kiddo, but Sora can't forgive you. Any guesses why?"

The younger boy shook his head even though he did know.

"He can't forgive you, 'cause he's _dead_."

His wrists were grabbed and held together, then pulled until the blond was just about on his feet. He was dragged along, his ankles twisting and his shoes catching as he tried to follow without getting hurt.

"Damn piece of crap." Riku cursed, ripping the watch from Roxas' wrist and throwing it hard against a gravestone. It shattered and broke and Roxas tugged away, attempting to get it back. Riku wasn't having any of it.

The two of them tripped, tumbled and ragged their way across to the other side of the graveyard, where the headstones became tomb type things and trees blocked out the little sunlight that tried to get through.

Roxas was slammed up against the wall of someone's burial place, and after that, everything dissolved into a blur of strikes and punches and forced kisses and feet being stamped on and his shirt disappearing and the rough stone scrapping his skin and bites being placed on his shoulders and arms and something sharp attacking his chest and hair being pulled out and... feeling more humiliated and hurt than he ever had before.

And worst of all, Axel had brought him out of his numb little shell, making it hurt even more.

It was only when Roxas was reduced to a quivering, crying heap on the ground that Riku let it end.

"You don't deserve to miss him," the silveret spat, glaring him one last time. "You never did."

Then he turned on his heel and left, leaving Roxas to curl in on himself and try to disappear in the middle of a deserted graveyard.

* * *

Axel groaned as Yuffie dragged him into what had to be the hundredth clothes shop of the day.

"Short shorts!" she squealed, skipping through the fluorescent tops and jeans to a rack of shorts so short they were almost non existent. She grabbed a pair and sprinted off towards the changing room, tugging Axel along by his ear.

"Yuf! I'm not allowed in there, it's a _girl's_ changing room."

She sighed. "Do you have a picture of Roxas?"

"Er, there's the one you took of both of us on my phone..."

"Perfect!" she grabbed Axel's phone out of his pocket, despite his angry squeak. Flipping open the phone, she found the picture she was looking for immediately. Axel was using it as a wallpaper.

"Oh! You two look so _cute_ together! Although, I reckon _he's_ the cuter one." she commented, overly loud, waving the phone around and pulling Axel into the hallway connecting all the changing rooms. The 'security guards' had let him past without a second glance.

"Um..." Axel blinked "What?"

"You're _gay_!" Yuffie explained. "No one cares about you being here cos you won't be perving on any of the girls cos you're _gay_! That's why I wanted you to come with me, darling fruitcake."

Axel spluttered.

"Although next time, you might want to wave your hands around a bit and mince or something. Try and act like Marly," Then she went into a changing room and shut the door.

A few minutes later, she opened the door again and did a little twirl "Whaddaya think?"

"I thought we'd already established that I'm gay."

"We have, that's why I'm asking you! If you weren't gay, you'd either flatter me so that I'd go out with you, or tell me they're too long so that you could see me in a shorter pair," she grinned.

"Truthfully," Axel began contemplatively "They're-"

A loud annoying whine cut him off.

"That's my phone!" Axel dove into the room, ignoring Yuffie's incredulous gaze.

"Time to go!" he crowed happily.

"But I'm not _finished_!"

"You can either come with me now or walk home with all your bags. But I'm leaving _now_."

"Can I at least buy these first?" the brunette begged.

"Fine."

"Yay!" she stood on tiptoes to kiss his cheek then hopped back into her little cubicle to take the shorts off.

* * *

Ten minutes later, they were in the car, motoring toward the cemetery. Axel parked exactly where he had four hours earlier and got out.

"Roxas?"

No blond heads appeared. Where was he? It was already gone two.

"Uh, Yuf?" Axel stuck his head back in the car "Roxas is late, I'mma go look for him. You coming?"

"Sure!"

She got out, and the car was locked. The two then opened the little gate and walked through.

"Should we split up?" Yuffie asked.

"No! No, it's okay," he blushed a little at her questioning gaze "Graveyards kinda scare me, we'll just stay together, kay?"

"Okie dokie," she grinned, never one to judge... Well, mostly.

Up and down the rows the walked, Yuffie glancing at all the names, Axel ignoring them completely. He refused to look at the stones. They were kinda scary, so he kept his eyes peeled for Roxas instead.

"Uh, Axel? What was Roxy's brother called again?"

"Um, Sora... Why?"

She just pointed at the white headstone she'd stopped at, gulping. Axel stared for a minute, then paled. '_Sora Sky Mizuki'_ was all he managed to read before the red smear caught his attention.

"Oh, god."

The grass around it was flattened oddly and there was more red stuff on the stone next to it.

"Shit! _Shit_!"

Something glinted in the light a few metres away, Axel ran towards it.

"Is... Is that your watch?" Yuffie breathed, looking at the broken piece of metal in his hands. Axel nodded.

"Can we split up now?" she whispered.

"Yeah."

* * *

They went in different directions, scouring the place for any sign of the small blond.

Yuffie found him first.

"Oh, god! Roxas!" she put a hand on his bare shoulder, wincing at the marks on it. "Roxas? Hello Roxas? Can you hear me?"

The only response she received was a slight shudder.

"Axel! Axel I found him!" Yuffie called out. Seconds later, sprinting footsteps turned the corner beside them.

"_Roxas_!" Axel half screamed, dropping to the ground beside his blond. "Roxy! Are you okay?"

Blue eyes opened a slit. Axel gathered up the bleeding, shirtless, bruising boy and held him close to his chest. With one hand, he fished his phone out and pressed 2 on the speed dial. It only took a few rings before someone picked up.

"Hey, Dem?" his voice was strained. "You at home?"

_Pause_.

"Okay, I'll meet you there in a few minutes okay, make sure lover boy brings his first aid kit. This is _urgent_!"

_Pause_.

"I mean it Dem,_ urgent_."

* * *

**End Notes:** Now, how many of you saw _that_ coming?

Enter Demyx and Loverboy (Zexy)! Yuss!

I feel really, horrible for making Riku such a bitch, I do love him really!

I'd love it if you guys could comment (read; review)!


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